where did it all go wrong

Had a discussion at Sunday Brunch. Has our generation (25-45 year old) failed? The kids today seem to have no sense of culture, worth, self esteem, pride, history etc. And they dont seem to care or want to care. Did we fail them? I say yes! Our generation is the me, mine generation. As long as im getting mine who cares if you dont have yours. There is no each one teach one, No reaching back to raise up. We dont have a Martin Luther King Jr or a Malcom X. All our generation seems to care about is money. If you dont have any you dont matter. OUr young ladies think Hoe & Bitch are terms of endearment. Our young men call each other NIgga no matter what race they may be...its just a word they say. And we the older generation stand by, watch it happen, let kids be kids right? What do you think the problem is? Too many women head of the house? Where are our men? what are they doing? Where are our churches? what have they done? Youth departments are either failing or non existent. Where did it all go wrong? Better yet what are we going to do about it? Im just asking

I AM BAD

Its Black history month so I will be perodically posting some of my Fav quotes or Poems by people of color!!!


“Ego Tripping

I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat's meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can't catch me

For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother's day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
jesus
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission

I mean...I...can fly
like a bird in the sky...”
― Nikki Giovanni

LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED

THIS IS THE LAST YEAR I WILL BE IN MY "30'S" CELEBRATIONS WILL BE TAKING PLACE ALL YEAR...THE 1ST BEING A CARIBBEAN CRUISE WITH MY BFF!!!! WHOOT! IVE NEVER BEEN ON A CRUISE SHE & HER FRIENDS ARE PROS. I PLAN TO EAT DRINK & BE MERRY. IVE DECIDED THIS YEAR I WILL LIVE MY LIFE. I WILL NOT LET CIRCUMSTANCE, DRAMA, FINANCES, FRUSTRATION OR CONFUSION RULE MY WORLD. I WILL SMILE MORE, LAUGH LOT & LIVE LIFE. SO HERE'S TO MY BFF MS ROBINSON LETS DO THIS...HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO...LET THE LADY FEBRUARY EXPERINCE BEGIN

NOT ANY MORE

I remember the days when it was SO IMPORTANT that I have these same friends. It was so important that I talked to these same friends all the time. That we did everything together. It used to be so important to always have something to do, somewhere to go. I had to be involved in all the current happenings the current fads. Not anymore!

Those friends that used to be so important are now distant fond memories. Those places that I just had to be can wait. Those fads I just had to be a part of clothes, sayings, music...not so important. Whats important to me now is peace of mind. If we are still friends that means you're family. If I'm going to a place or hanging out its with purpose. A good time for me is Dinner or Brunch with the family, a good nap, a great book & my DVR. Trust me I'm so good with that.

Moving forward in 2012

Friends I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, < to strain means to squeeze or compress painfully, to go beyond the usual accepted or proper limit, to pull or to stretch < which means we have to fight to move forward. It will be pain full but MOVE FORWARD!!!

Philippians 3:13

MRS ANDERSON? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

I will never forget that Thursday morning in 2007 when my Co-worker called me & said "BRUCE" was on the phone. #1 I had a horrible week my heart had been broken & I didn't feel like playing. I had been crying all week it was just enough to come in to work without falling apart. #2 this particular co-worker would often ask about "Bruce" 1/2 way joking but truly interested. A little background. Bruce & I had a relationship that ended 6 years prior. So it would annoy me when "Stan" & my Mom would OFTEN ask I wonder where Bruce is. My response would always of course be "who cares" But Stan & my Mom held put hope LOL. So when Stan said Bruce was on the phone I was like quit playing. He transfers the call & I hear his voice & my heart starts beating....really fast! And the Taurus (bull) in me instantly got defensive. him: Hi this is Bruce, Me: yea..LOL. Bruce began to tell me why he called. I wont tell you what he said but instantly tears began to fall. His words were everything I needed to hear. The dark cloud began to lift & the wall around my heart had began to crumble. I was shaking. I had just poured out my heart to God & only God a few days earlier. And every word that he said was what I had whispered to God through tears. At the end of the conversation he says, I don't want anything from you I just wanted you to know how I felt & if if would be OK can he take me out to dinner. I told my family & my friends & the only response I got was GREAT! And that following weekend I went to New Orleans for Essence music festival with 2 friends & all they kept saying was watch you & Bruce going to get married. I denied it...for a week LOL but it was evident we were meant to be together. It became more evident when about a month later while laying on the bed watching TV he looked at me & said "shorty" (my nickname he gave me) YOU ARE MY WIFE! and the rest is history.

HELLO!!!!

THANKS TO AN OLD FRIEND IVE BEEN SHAMED INTO PICKING UP MY BLOG AGAIN!

I don't know why but I suppose I haven't truly been inspired to write anything. Life is good don't worry but as my 30's come to a close I'm turning into an introvert. I do not find the need to live out loud as I used too, HA! But that's no reason to neglect my talents.This blog is my outlet. So I will not leave you hanging again. Thanks Old friend. It doesn't matter the distance or the drama you will always have a special place in my heart :)

Mid day pick me up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDuvsUTpUWw

my heart was heavy & I heard this song!!! He will never put more on me than I can bear. Sometimes you gotta be reminded

What do you do when there is no one to talk to. When the thoughts going through your mind feel as if they'll consume you. The bible tells you to cast your cares but sometimes it feels as if no one is there. It's hard to turn to friends when they think your life is charmed. It's hard to go to family because you're usually the one with all the answers. It's hard to go yo the one you love because instead of listening they attempt to fix or take offense. All this leads me back to the creator the only one I can tell the real. Oh well back to the drawing board (shoulder shrug)

LIVING MY BEST LIFE...AT LEAST TRYING!

"IF YOU WANT TO GET FREE YOU HAVE TO GET HONEST...JOYCE MYERS"

Too many of us are in denial about our issues. I had to get honest with myself about mine. I'm determined to live my best life not my fantasy life. Yes I want to be Rich, yes I want to travel all over the world, shop without hesitation but until I can am I supposed to not live? I had to get honest real quick with myself. I want those things but right now I don't have them so I have to get busy to obtain them but until then I'm going to enjoy my "right now life". I'm not rich but I have God, Love and family. GREAT THINGS!

Also I had to get honest with myself about my perception about how I was being treated or my expectation of how folks should be treating me. I was being told I was "mean". My first reaction is whatever but then more than one person told me that. So I had to start being careful how I said things or how view situation from other perspectives. If mostly everyone tells you, you have an attitude problem its not them its you. If you are always in conflict because of how you said something or something you said...its not them its you. Evaluate yourself honestly! You cant be right or innocent all the time. When conflict arises look at yourself first. What could you have done better in the situation. If you are always offended or offensive...its not them its you! Once you become honest with yourself you can be free!

Also discover what makes you happy. If you sit around being miserable that's your fault! Live your best life!

I MISS MY FRIEND

I lost a friend so near & dear no matter how hard I try I can't hold back the tears. Once so close now too far I once thought nothing could keep us apart. Hard we do try to fill the space between us but time has stretched and made this hole deeper. Love has been replaced by pain that our relationship will never be the same. I know not all relationships are here to stay but this is one I thought would never go away...I miss my friend!

IT HAPPENED!!!

I find it strange that as we approach the National Celebration of Dr King's Birthday there is a debate simmering on the use of the words "slavery" and "Nigger". I find this very bizarre. Are we to believe that by removing the words they somehow erase what happened? This is apart of American History! It happened! It is my belief that the folks asking for removal aren't trying to be politically correct or sensitive to people of color but in an indirect way they want people to forget or maybe get over it! THAT WONT HAPPEN! It is our history. It shows how far as a people we have come, how far as country we have grown & a constant reminder of how far we still need to go. WE WILL NEVER FORGET...WE MUST NEVER FORGET!!!!

EARLY TO RISE

I have constantly declared myself as definitely not a morning person. You couldn't get me up early to do anything but go to work anything else was out of the question. My best friend constantly told me get up earlier you'll like. I would try & fail. Tried praying only to fall asleep. I would "sleep in" only to be rushing out the door, no breakfast, dinner not prepared & still late for work.

Last year my church Beebe Memorial Cathedral (experiencebmc.org) had 50 days of prayer. We had to get up at 7am daily. Boy was I so not into this. Nevertheless hubby & I got up each morning to pray with our church. It turned out to be a fantastic experience. But I also learned that when I wake up earlier I feel better, refreshed!

So my only New Years resolution was to keep it up. So now I get up 6:45 daily. I get so much done. I stretch, have quiet time, pray & read my bible. Once I'm done with that I go prepare breakfast & dinner. I get to work earlier now instead of rushing. I feel more level headed...clear! So for all you folks that just cant stand early mornings try it & see how much better, accomplished and prepared you feel.

GOT TO DO BETTER

Had choir rehearsal last night. We are learning a song a really like. But my section..the soprano section was really messing it up. Its like more than 1/2 them people don't need to be up there. They were sounding like strangled cats. Normally I just do the old stick the finger in my ear so I only hear my own voice but last night I got IRRITATED! I forgot everything I learned from reading the bible & how to handle being pressed & stressed & I got pissed off. Hey I'm human, under construction. So what I think that you should have to audition for the choir, so what I want to fire more than 1/2 the choir members (one in particular) its not my job! I am to love these flawed crazy folks & when I see their issues pray not get angry. So I didn't go off...Good Lawd I wanted to BUT I did walk out. I cant stand foolishness. I cant stand people that think they are right ALL THE TIME. How can one be right ALL THE TIME?????? Nevertheless I should have conducted myself like a mature Christian & adult. Promise next time I will do better

HAPPY NEW YEAR

ITS 2011!!!! I'm going to be updating & refreshing my blog. This year I will be doing new things. I will try to keep my blog as current as possible. Open up some dialog with you folks following me & I thank ya. Spread the word! BTW what are your plans for the year..share if you can! May your new year be bright, full, great & prosperous.

CELEBRATE LIFE

ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!

CHRISTMAS!!! MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR!! I love everything about it. The real reason JESUS. I KNOW I KNOW it may be possible that he was born another time of the year but if I want to set aside this time to celebrate with my family, friends, co-workers or the world for that matter ITS MY BUSINESS!!! I'm not slow I'm not crazy JUST GRATEFUL!!! I love the corny part of it all. The tree, the gaudiness, the madness, the shopping, the sharing the love SO WHAT someone else had the idea to worship a tree or whatever as long as I'm not LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I love the candy, the presents, the food, the LOVE!!! If you don't want to celebrate great but don't try to make me feel like I'm crazy because I do. SO HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS.....CELEBRATE LIFE....CELEBRATE FAMILY....DARNIT JUST CELEBRATE!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M GOOD

I HAVE NOT BLOGGED SINCE SEPTEMBER..YIKES! DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE MUCH ON MY MIND OR MUCH GOING ON JUST HAVEN'T FELT LIKE GLOBALLY SHARING...HA

BUT I THOUGHT I'D JUST SHOUT OUT ALL MY FOLKS WHO ARE STILL HANGING WITH ME.

GOD IS GOOD. HE HAS SUSTAINED ME ALLLLLLLLL YEAR! I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YA HOW GOOD HE HAS BEEN. WATCHING MY PRAYERS BEING ANSWERED ONE BY ONE BEFORE THE YEAR IS OUT. SO TRUE THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT ON HIM. WAITING SUCKS BUT IT BUILDS CHARACTER CAUSE WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO GIVE PRAISE & ACT RIGHT WHEN THINGS AREN'T GOING YOUR WAY GOD WILL SOON TRUST WITH THE STUFF YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR & I AM A WITNESS!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME

PEACE & BLESSING

KEEP LOOKING UP & TRUST GOD...HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED!

IM DOING ME!

Made a vow to myself to be true to myself, my family & my God! I am working on getting fit spiritually, physically, emotionally & economically. I will do what it takes. I will no longer be a dumping ground. No you cant expect me to take on your issues. What I can do is pray for you and trust God to give you an answer. I have never gave credit to haters but I'm sure I have them. But guess what I don't care. I will be praying for them too. I am working on being the best me that I can. No time for pity parties, anger, bitterness or games. Everything happens for a reason & Everything has a purpose & there is a time & place for everything & everyone. If you are in this chapter of my life I'm happy if you're not God bless you real good. What am I doing? That's right I'm doing me!!!!

ALL I'M SAYING

Proposition 8 is back in the news. This is a debate that makes me cringe every time it comes up. This is when as a Christian I shake my head in shame. Its fine if you want to say that marriage is between a man & woman because God said so BUT unless you do EVERYTHING else the bible says too you might want to keep your mouth closed. You can't argue what God says if you're not living right. I can not stand when folks get on their soap box. How do you argue what God says & you are only keeping 1 of the 10 commandments. How can you argue what God says & you fornicate (a clear no no in the bible), lie, cheat, steal, unforgiving, judgemental or simply Mean as Hell. God hates Gays? NO GOD HATES SIN! He is not pleased with the mean & hateful. He doesn't need folks randomly fighting his battles. He's been doing it since HE created the heavens & the earth. Where you there? Jesus went to the cross for EVERYONE. Its our Job to love & spread the Good news of God's love. GOD DOES THE CHANGING NOT YOU!

WE ALL WE GOT

I come from a small family. Outside of my immediate family (mom,dad,sisters,brother) we are not particularly close to extended family members aunts, uncles, cousins etc. We once were. But with most families (black families) in particular once "big mama" died the family separated. When my great grandma was alive we would have thanksgiving at my aunts & Christmas at my great uncles every year. The cousins used to dress alike every Christmas. Those days growing up as a child were heavenly. There was fishing and camping every year with my uncle. But once he died that stopped. Once Great Gran died so did the holiday dinners. Each family went their own way with their own celebrations. Some siblings stopped speaking to each other haven't spoken to each other in decades. Now here we are with only a few of the elders in the family left. My mother, a few cousins and I are trying to get the family back together. At least once a year at least one time before we have to see each other at a funeral. I must say this is a chore. If its not the location, its the date, if its not the date, its the menu. All we want to do is get together with the family. It is my wish that folks will put their differences, hurts and issues to the side and come together for an afternoon of love and family. If you are blessed to have your entire family still in contact with one another cherish this because not every one has it. And I urge you if you all have lost contact like my family make it a priority to get them together before the end of the year before its too late. We all we got.