WHAT HAVENT I DONT (3-27-4)

This is a writing that I found I did in 2004..you know its awesome when you wow yourself

3-27-4

I feel invisible in a world where I'm constantly noticed. I get compliments all the time. You're beautiful, you're sweet, but they don't really see me. No one truly knows the pain and the emptiness I sometimes feel inside. Not all the time just sometimes. I stand there and I feel like I am gonna disappear. I'm gonna just fade away and no one will notice. The times when I'm alone and I try to hear God's voice to give me answers to what my next move should be, what my next steps should be and I hear SILENCE! My soul feels empty, I feel alone. I know that Jesus is the solution but when do I get resolutions. I don't know maybe my prayer is wrong. I try to have unselfish, true prayer but obviously I'm missing something. What is it that I'm not doing. What am I missing? What haven't I said? What haven't I done? Don't I deserve happiness or a least those thins that make me happy? I'm invisible. No one can see me.

NEW BEGINNINGS

Yes! Its October almost fall one of my favorite seasons. Its an opportunity to begin again. Its never too late to start over. In these times many over 30 people are beginning to reinvent themselves and that is an absolutely fabulous thing. Even our President endorses change and self preservation. I have a few friends who are going back to school starting business' and I am excited for them. So if you are feeling lost and restless begin to think about what excites you and motivates you and begin again. Its OK. Its actually great, exciting and fun. Dare to dream. I myself have begun to reinvent myself. I have taken on a new task with the youth organization I am a part of, Our Youth matter. I am the new Newsletter Editor. I am excited and nervous. I have been ducking & dodging responsibilities for a year now I just needed a break. But now its time to get busy. Please visit our website & take a look at what we are up to. Our youth need us to show them that they matter. http://www.ouryouthmatter.com/ Also I have committed to ministry at my church Beebe Memorial Cathedral in Oakland. I have been a bench member for almost a year & I have enjoyed it. But I decided to join the Dance ministry. I feel refreshed and renewed. So I encourage you take a huge step back, look in the mirror, pray and began to encourage yourself to start fresh, start new. You wont be disappointed. I promise