ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!

CHRISTMAS!!! MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR!! I love everything about it. The real reason JESUS. I KNOW I KNOW it may be possible that he was born another time of the year but if I want to set aside this time to celebrate with my family, friends, co-workers or the world for that matter ITS MY BUSINESS!!! I'm not slow I'm not crazy JUST GRATEFUL!!! I love the corny part of it all. The tree, the gaudiness, the madness, the shopping, the sharing the love SO WHAT someone else had the idea to worship a tree or whatever as long as I'm not LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I love the candy, the presents, the food, the LOVE!!! If you don't want to celebrate great but don't try to make me feel like I'm crazy because I do. SO HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS.....CELEBRATE LIFE....CELEBRATE FAMILY....DARNIT JUST CELEBRATE!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M GOOD

I HAVE NOT BLOGGED SINCE SEPTEMBER..YIKES! DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE MUCH ON MY MIND OR MUCH GOING ON JUST HAVEN'T FELT LIKE GLOBALLY SHARING...HA

BUT I THOUGHT I'D JUST SHOUT OUT ALL MY FOLKS WHO ARE STILL HANGING WITH ME.

GOD IS GOOD. HE HAS SUSTAINED ME ALLLLLLLLL YEAR! I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YA HOW GOOD HE HAS BEEN. WATCHING MY PRAYERS BEING ANSWERED ONE BY ONE BEFORE THE YEAR IS OUT. SO TRUE THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT ON HIM. WAITING SUCKS BUT IT BUILDS CHARACTER CAUSE WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO GIVE PRAISE & ACT RIGHT WHEN THINGS AREN'T GOING YOUR WAY GOD WILL SOON TRUST WITH THE STUFF YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR & I AM A WITNESS!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME

PEACE & BLESSING

KEEP LOOKING UP & TRUST GOD...HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED!

IM DOING ME!

Made a vow to myself to be true to myself, my family & my God! I am working on getting fit spiritually, physically, emotionally & economically. I will do what it takes. I will no longer be a dumping ground. No you cant expect me to take on your issues. What I can do is pray for you and trust God to give you an answer. I have never gave credit to haters but I'm sure I have them. But guess what I don't care. I will be praying for them too. I am working on being the best me that I can. No time for pity parties, anger, bitterness or games. Everything happens for a reason & Everything has a purpose & there is a time & place for everything & everyone. If you are in this chapter of my life I'm happy if you're not God bless you real good. What am I doing? That's right I'm doing me!!!!

ALL I'M SAYING

Proposition 8 is back in the news. This is a debate that makes me cringe every time it comes up. This is when as a Christian I shake my head in shame. Its fine if you want to say that marriage is between a man & woman because God said so BUT unless you do EVERYTHING else the bible says too you might want to keep your mouth closed. You can't argue what God says if you're not living right. I can not stand when folks get on their soap box. How do you argue what God says & you are only keeping 1 of the 10 commandments. How can you argue what God says & you fornicate (a clear no no in the bible), lie, cheat, steal, unforgiving, judgemental or simply Mean as Hell. God hates Gays? NO GOD HATES SIN! He is not pleased with the mean & hateful. He doesn't need folks randomly fighting his battles. He's been doing it since HE created the heavens & the earth. Where you there? Jesus went to the cross for EVERYONE. Its our Job to love & spread the Good news of God's love. GOD DOES THE CHANGING NOT YOU!

WE ALL WE GOT

I come from a small family. Outside of my immediate family (mom,dad,sisters,brother) we are not particularly close to extended family members aunts, uncles, cousins etc. We once were. But with most families (black families) in particular once "big mama" died the family separated. When my great grandma was alive we would have thanksgiving at my aunts & Christmas at my great uncles every year. The cousins used to dress alike every Christmas. Those days growing up as a child were heavenly. There was fishing and camping every year with my uncle. But once he died that stopped. Once Great Gran died so did the holiday dinners. Each family went their own way with their own celebrations. Some siblings stopped speaking to each other haven't spoken to each other in decades. Now here we are with only a few of the elders in the family left. My mother, a few cousins and I are trying to get the family back together. At least once a year at least one time before we have to see each other at a funeral. I must say this is a chore. If its not the location, its the date, if its not the date, its the menu. All we want to do is get together with the family. It is my wish that folks will put their differences, hurts and issues to the side and come together for an afternoon of love and family. If you are blessed to have your entire family still in contact with one another cherish this because not every one has it. And I urge you if you all have lost contact like my family make it a priority to get them together before the end of the year before its too late. We all we got.

ON PAUSE

June I was silent. Many ideas, visions and situations flooding my mind & my soul. so many I can not concentrate on just one thing to blog about and there so much going on in the world so here are somethings to think about.
http://www.sfbayview.com/2009/oscar-grant-young-father-and-peacemaker-executed-by-bart-police/

http://www.sfbayview.com/2009/hearing-for-killer-cop-mehserle-justice-for-oscar-grant/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/30/louisiana-oil-spill-2010_n_558287.html

RIDE THE WAVE

Its a wave of emotions. Slowly moving through my mind, my body and my soul. Happiness feels great I smile I feel warm I feel calm. Here comes the wave of love. This wave is physical. Its hot, passionate and longing. This wave that's coming I don't like. Its regret. Awaken by memories romanticized from a new photo that brings up old feelings. Good then bad then sad now mad. Waiting for the next wave which is relief.Hope it comes soon cause this wave is making me sick emotionally. But I will ride it it out because no matter what it feels like I'm on the right path.

MOTHERS DAY..BITTER SWEET

This Sunday the country sets aside time to celebrates moms. Celebrate them for their hard work & dedication. I know some fantastic Mother's Mine is one of the best. She has made so many sacrifices for me. She is prayer warrior, a best friend, a worrier, a problem solver, a nag & one of the great loves of my life. I show her I love her all the time but I try to make a big deal out of this day for her its the least I could do. So for me having my mom here is Sweet :)

This day is bitter because I have friends who don't have their mom. I'm sure there are no words that could make this time feel better. So I say to those who have lost their mom. You never loose her. She is always there in your heart. Your mom raised some beautiful daughters, mothers & friends. Use this time to remember the GREAT times you had with her while she was here. And rest in knowing that whatever her failure or short comings when she had you & raised you that was her greatest triumph. She is proud so you can smile.

THE SHAME OF IT ALL

TODAY I SHED TEARS OVER THE CITY I GREW UP IN..OAKLAND. THE PLACE WHERE I ONCE FELT SO SAFE I NOW FEEL SHAME. TODAY THERE WAS A SHOOTING AT A FUNERAL.http://www.ktvu.com/news/23280516/detail.html A FUNERAL FOR A YOUNG MAN WHOSE LIFE WAS LOST TO GUN VIOLENCE. I DIDN'T KNOW THE YOUNG MAN BUT I SHED TEARS AT THE IDEA THAT NOT ONLY WOULD SOME ONE DISRESPECT HIS FAMILY WHO WAS TRYING TO MOURN THEIR CHILD BUT I SHED TEARS FOR THOSE YOUNG MEN OR WOMEN WHO THOUGHT SO LITTLE OF THEMSELVES, OF LIFE, OF CHURCH OF PEOPLE OF GOD THAT THEY OPENED FIRE IN A CHURCH AT A FUNERAL.

ITS AS CRAZY AND RIDICULOUS AS IT SOUNDS. BUT NOW I'M ANGRY. I WANT SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING. WHERE ARE OUR LEADERS? WHERE IS OUR COMMUNITY? I REMEMBER BACK IN THE DAY BLACK FOLKS STOOD TOGETHER AGAINST INJUSTICE IN THE COMMUNITY. WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE NOW?? IS ANYONE GOING TO STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING. WELL ANYONE I GUESS WILL HAVE TO BE ME. I HAVE REACHED OUT TO SOME OF MY SISTERS IN THE COMMUNITY THAT I KNOW WILL STAND WITH ME. ON BEHALF OF GOD, ON BEHALF OF OUR YOUTH ON BEHALF OF OUR COMMUNITY. WE DON'T ACCEPT THIS, WE DON'T LIKE IT AND WE WONT SIT DOWN AND TAKE IT!! WE WILL STAND TOGETHER AS SISTERS IN LOVE. WILL YOU STAND WITH US?

WHAT IS THE CONDITION OF THE BLACK CHURCH

http://www.bvblackspin.com/2010/04/19/is-the-black-church-dead/

Please read article & post comments

ALL I REALLY WANT

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. ~Cynthia Nelms

I HAVE DECIDED TO BE HAPPY! I may not have all that I want or be all that I can but today I declare happiness. I'm putting it in the atmosphere. Yes I will have days where I'm not HAPPY..but I will be happy. I am alive, I have health, strength, family, friends, love, compassion, energy, power, determination,hope, promise, GOD, sanity,activity of my limbs and the list could go on for hours. So today I straighten up & fly right. No more pity parties. I encourage you my followers to declare this with me. God has already said I win so no need in me walking around being defeated. I AM HAPPY I AM LOVED....lets be free!!!

ON TO THE NEXT

Its Spring! The year didn't begin as I had anticipated but its only March. I trust God to do what he promised. The unknown is uncomfortable. I've learned I am a bit of a control freak. I like knowing what is happening from one point to the next and I like being the one pulling the strings. WELL...that ain't happening. I am in a uncomfortable, unfamiliar place right now. But I believe that all things work for the Good of them who are called according to a purpose. And no matter what it looks like even this situation has purpose. So last month I cried but this month I'm on to the next. DESTINY, PROSPERITY, PURPOSE AND HOPE. That's all that on my agenda for the rest of the year. NO matter what I move. No matter what I love. No matter what I have faith. No matter what...I WIN!!!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE

Usually on a Saturday I am looking in my closet trying to find something to wear for Sunday. But its Saturday night and I am watching T.V.not thinking about what I am wearing on Sunday. Sunday's for me are usually Church, Brunch, family and naps.

Lately they have been breakfast, DVR and Naps. I have become...how shall I say..indifferent when it comes to "going to church" I LOVE GOD don't get it twisted but church of today is not like when we were growing up. Church used to be that beacon of light that safe haven, that meeting place. But lately its just big business and no one's life is changing. Not talking about my church just talking in general. We got churches all over Oakland. Preachers driving up in their nice cars and expensive suits and shoes but riding past all the D-boys on the corner and the young ladies selling their bodies. And no one stops to talk with these people.

We go into church and act as if they are not even there. We go inside our church houses talking about we love the Lord but will not speak or look at each other. Lifting up these "holy hands" and destroying each other with our gossip or negative talk. We shout the house down for a couple of hours and most come right back out the same way. NOTHING Changes. These so called preachers talk a good talk. Telling the congregation they need to get out of the four walls but they won't or don't do it themselves. How can we keep having our annual days, appreciations, celebrations while our children are dying in the streets?

Now I realize that with good comes bad but we should not be comfortable with the way things are. I wonder is God pleased? Something is wrong with this picture. But hey who am I. This very well could just be a phase I am going through. I know there are some churches out there trying to make a difference. My current church the Pastor teaches Empowerment, commitment and Love. But the Pastor darn near has to bust a blood vessesl to get people to give God some praise. They act like they doing God a favor by showing up. Selfish. My father's church is an outreach ministry bringing in souls that are otherwise looked past. They are working hard serving a community that really doesn't want to change so its a long hard road. So yes there are a few but that's just it a few. I know the word says don't get weary in doing good you will reap if you faint not. And as long as I do my part in sharing God's love I can rest in that. But I'm kinda over it. So I ask What's wrong with this picture?

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HE'S GREAT

HEY ALL..JUST WANTED TO PUT GOD ON BLAST FOR A SECOND. IN THIS TIME OF ECONOMIC ISSUES I MUST SAY GOD HAS SUSTAINED ME & MY FAMILY. I AM IN AWE OF WHAT HE HAS DONE. ITS BEEN A ROUGH SIX MONTHS BUT I HAVE NOT MISSED A BEAT. GOD IS SO AMAZING THAT HE KEEPS BLESSING ME EVEN WHEN I AM NOT AT MY BEST. EVEN WHEN I GET CONFUSED OR WORRIED HE STILL FORGIVES AND CONTINUES TO BLESS. I AM SO THANKFUL THAT HE LOOKS PAST MY FAULTS AND TAKES CARE OF MY NEEDS. GOD IS REAL. IN THIS DAY AND AGE ITS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. GET TO KNOW HIM. NOTICE I SAID GOD. NOT RELIGION. I WONT EVEN DEFEND SOME OF THE MESS PEOPLE HAVE WITNESSED FROM SO CALLED "RELIGIOUS" PEOPLE. TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF PEOPLE AND TRUST GOD. HE'S ABLE TO DO ALL THAT YOU CAN ASK OR THINK. HE NEVER PROMISED ALL DAYS WOULD BE GOOD HE PROMISED THAT HE WOULD SEE YOU THROUGH. GOD IS AWESOME..TRY HIM!

ITS NOT GREEN ITS BLUE

I've felt this color before. It was 3 years ago. When she made the announcement & held up her left hand there appeared the 'thing". It was shiny & sparkly & huge. First I smiled on the outside but on the inside I began screaming why her? why not me? She went on and on about how fantastic & wonderful & blessed she was. On the outside I was smiling on the inside I shouted shut up, so what but wait..I like her I'm happy for her. Now the tears began to fall. How sick am I that I couldn't be happy for someone I cared about. With that she grabbed my hand as if she could read my thoughts. God hears you. Don't worry it will happen for you too. Trust God and watch what happens and a year later it did. I was not jealous I was hurt. She was getting what I prayed for. Was desperate for. But when I began to rejoice for her God blessed me. And here again is this color I feel. An announcement every week from someone else not me. Oh the joy they feel of the new life growing inside. Again the tears come and that feeling that color but its not green. I'm not Jealous I'm blue. Sadness. BUT GOD I focus on what is not seen instead of what is seen my eyes are fixed, my mind is made up, my vision is clear. What he does for one he will do for me. In his time not mine. So I press toward the promise. And I envision and hope and then I smile. No longer Blue but Golden.

I'M OVER IT...I THINK

Now this feeling that I feel has crept up on me. I thought I didn't care anymore but I do..umm kinda. My name was dragged through the mud. I was lied on. Could never really find the culprit but I thought I didn't care. But I find myself being totally offended by the fact that "someone" decided to lie on me and "friends/family" decided that I could be capable of spreading mess. And instead of asking me personally they just decided to believe the worst. This changed relationships so it did hurt. Now I can handle when things fall apart because of something I may have done..I'm not perfect. But when I have done nothing it bothers me. But then I remember. They lied on Jesus so who am I? Get over it Shalonda. Pray for the people and keep it moving. OK I'm over it..no really I am.

CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET

Happy new year! This week I am cleaning out my mental closet. I am fasting from my favorite past times, Twitter and Facebook. So far so good no withdrawals. It's always good to start out the new year with a fast. Time to reflect and get in good position to hear from God. I am expecting major things from God this year so I have to be sure that I am doing what I need to do so our relationship is good so I can hear his voice. I began reading a journal I have kept since 2007. I realized I had not written in my journal since 2008 and that kinda troubled me but then I was reminded 2009 is when I began my blog. Relief. I almost thought I allowed my thoughts to fly out the window but I shoulda known I'm too fly for that. So God did some major things for me in 2007, 2008 now I must go back and read over my 2009. Today at church I learned the number is 10 is the number of fulfilment. So I am expecting something major this year so as I fast on this week I am expecting great things. This is year will be awesome.