MRS ANDERSON? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

I will never forget that Thursday morning in 2007 when my Co-worker called me & said "BRUCE" was on the phone. #1 I had a horrible week my heart had been broken & I didn't feel like playing. I had been crying all week it was just enough to come in to work without falling apart. #2 this particular co-worker would often ask about "Bruce" 1/2 way joking but truly interested. A little background. Bruce & I had a relationship that ended 6 years prior. So it would annoy me when "Stan" & my Mom would OFTEN ask I wonder where Bruce is. My response would always of course be "who cares" But Stan & my Mom held put hope LOL. So when Stan said Bruce was on the phone I was like quit playing. He transfers the call & I hear his voice & my heart starts beating....really fast! And the Taurus (bull) in me instantly got defensive. him: Hi this is Bruce, Me: yea..LOL. Bruce began to tell me why he called. I wont tell you what he said but instantly tears began to fall. His words were everything I needed to hear. The dark cloud began to lift & the wall around my heart had began to crumble. I was shaking. I had just poured out my heart to God & only God a few days earlier. And every word that he said was what I had whispered to God through tears. At the end of the conversation he says, I don't want anything from you I just wanted you to know how I felt & if if would be OK can he take me out to dinner. I told my family & my friends & the only response I got was GREAT! And that following weekend I went to New Orleans for Essence music festival with 2 friends & all they kept saying was watch you & Bruce going to get married. I denied it...for a week LOL but it was evident we were meant to be together. It became more evident when about a month later while laying on the bed watching TV he looked at me & said "shorty" (my nickname he gave me) YOU ARE MY WIFE! and the rest is history.

HELLO!!!!

THANKS TO AN OLD FRIEND IVE BEEN SHAMED INTO PICKING UP MY BLOG AGAIN!

I don't know why but I suppose I haven't truly been inspired to write anything. Life is good don't worry but as my 30's come to a close I'm turning into an introvert. I do not find the need to live out loud as I used too, HA! But that's no reason to neglect my talents.This blog is my outlet. So I will not leave you hanging again. Thanks Old friend. It doesn't matter the distance or the drama you will always have a special place in my heart :)

Mid day pick me up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDuvsUTpUWw

my heart was heavy & I heard this song!!! He will never put more on me than I can bear. Sometimes you gotta be reminded

What do you do when there is no one to talk to. When the thoughts going through your mind feel as if they'll consume you. The bible tells you to cast your cares but sometimes it feels as if no one is there. It's hard to turn to friends when they think your life is charmed. It's hard to go to family because you're usually the one with all the answers. It's hard to go yo the one you love because instead of listening they attempt to fix or take offense. All this leads me back to the creator the only one I can tell the real. Oh well back to the drawing board (shoulder shrug)

LIVING MY BEST LIFE...AT LEAST TRYING!

"IF YOU WANT TO GET FREE YOU HAVE TO GET HONEST...JOYCE MYERS"

Too many of us are in denial about our issues. I had to get honest with myself about mine. I'm determined to live my best life not my fantasy life. Yes I want to be Rich, yes I want to travel all over the world, shop without hesitation but until I can am I supposed to not live? I had to get honest real quick with myself. I want those things but right now I don't have them so I have to get busy to obtain them but until then I'm going to enjoy my "right now life". I'm not rich but I have God, Love and family. GREAT THINGS!

Also I had to get honest with myself about my perception about how I was being treated or my expectation of how folks should be treating me. I was being told I was "mean". My first reaction is whatever but then more than one person told me that. So I had to start being careful how I said things or how view situation from other perspectives. If mostly everyone tells you, you have an attitude problem its not them its you. If you are always in conflict because of how you said something or something you said...its not them its you. Evaluate yourself honestly! You cant be right or innocent all the time. When conflict arises look at yourself first. What could you have done better in the situation. If you are always offended or offensive...its not them its you! Once you become honest with yourself you can be free!

Also discover what makes you happy. If you sit around being miserable that's your fault! Live your best life!

I MISS MY FRIEND

I lost a friend so near & dear no matter how hard I try I can't hold back the tears. Once so close now too far I once thought nothing could keep us apart. Hard we do try to fill the space between us but time has stretched and made this hole deeper. Love has been replaced by pain that our relationship will never be the same. I know not all relationships are here to stay but this is one I thought would never go away...I miss my friend!

IT HAPPENED!!!

I find it strange that as we approach the National Celebration of Dr King's Birthday there is a debate simmering on the use of the words "slavery" and "Nigger". I find this very bizarre. Are we to believe that by removing the words they somehow erase what happened? This is apart of American History! It happened! It is my belief that the folks asking for removal aren't trying to be politically correct or sensitive to people of color but in an indirect way they want people to forget or maybe get over it! THAT WONT HAPPEN! It is our history. It shows how far as a people we have come, how far as country we have grown & a constant reminder of how far we still need to go. WE WILL NEVER FORGET...WE MUST NEVER FORGET!!!!

EARLY TO RISE

I have constantly declared myself as definitely not a morning person. You couldn't get me up early to do anything but go to work anything else was out of the question. My best friend constantly told me get up earlier you'll like. I would try & fail. Tried praying only to fall asleep. I would "sleep in" only to be rushing out the door, no breakfast, dinner not prepared & still late for work.

Last year my church Beebe Memorial Cathedral (experiencebmc.org) had 50 days of prayer. We had to get up at 7am daily. Boy was I so not into this. Nevertheless hubby & I got up each morning to pray with our church. It turned out to be a fantastic experience. But I also learned that when I wake up earlier I feel better, refreshed!

So my only New Years resolution was to keep it up. So now I get up 6:45 daily. I get so much done. I stretch, have quiet time, pray & read my bible. Once I'm done with that I go prepare breakfast & dinner. I get to work earlier now instead of rushing. I feel more level headed...clear! So for all you folks that just cant stand early mornings try it & see how much better, accomplished and prepared you feel.

GOT TO DO BETTER

Had choir rehearsal last night. We are learning a song a really like. But my section..the soprano section was really messing it up. Its like more than 1/2 them people don't need to be up there. They were sounding like strangled cats. Normally I just do the old stick the finger in my ear so I only hear my own voice but last night I got IRRITATED! I forgot everything I learned from reading the bible & how to handle being pressed & stressed & I got pissed off. Hey I'm human, under construction. So what I think that you should have to audition for the choir, so what I want to fire more than 1/2 the choir members (one in particular) its not my job! I am to love these flawed crazy folks & when I see their issues pray not get angry. So I didn't go off...Good Lawd I wanted to BUT I did walk out. I cant stand foolishness. I cant stand people that think they are right ALL THE TIME. How can one be right ALL THE TIME?????? Nevertheless I should have conducted myself like a mature Christian & adult. Promise next time I will do better

HAPPY NEW YEAR

ITS 2011!!!! I'm going to be updating & refreshing my blog. This year I will be doing new things. I will try to keep my blog as current as possible. Open up some dialog with you folks following me & I thank ya. Spread the word! BTW what are your plans for the year..share if you can! May your new year be bright, full, great & prosperous.

CELEBRATE LIFE